Word to the wise…avoid watching any VH1 reality shows while on the treadmill. The ferociousness WTF-ness and overall skankiness of the show will draw you in against your own common sense, and the next thing you know, you’ll be flying off the back of the treadmill. Just FYI.
Workout:
But on the bright side, I finally got my ugly half-marathon medal from New Orleans so yay for that.
Workout:
I officially love Apple. I took my broken ipod Nano (the one destroyed by the heating magnetism of my breasts - although I didn’t tell THEM that) to the genius bar at the Apple store. Turned out it was still under warranty and I got a new Nano. Yay!! I’ve gotten so used to running with my friend, the Nike+ ipod lady, that it’s impossible for me to run without her. Who else will keep track of my pace and mileage AND have Lance Armstrong pop up at the end and congratulate me on my longest run ever? I sure won’t do it…
So, it’s taken me approximately 31 years, 1 month and 11 days, but I have FINALLY figured out my ongoing relationship with alcohol…it goes something like this:
1 drink = Ok, maybe my day wasn’t as bad as it seemed an hour ago…how have you been?
2 drinks = Well, we’re moving on up to the East Side! To a deluxe apartment in the sky! You don’t know that song? How about this one – what would we do baby, without us? Sha la la la!!!
3 drinks = Hmm, does the world feel like this too or are the vibrating sparkles and rainbows just in my pants? Sha la la la!! 
4 drinks = Oh, hello toilet bowl. You’re quite nice and cool today. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to catch up this closely…how’s the family?
5 drinks = GOD…if you’re out there, please PLEASE help me! I promise that if you get me through this one last time, I will never touch alcohol again! Not even Listerine, I PROMISE!! Oh God, WHY ME?!?
Of course, these are liable to change depending on the type of alcohol (margaritas vs. wine for instance) ingested…having said all this, did you know that trying to run the day after a mammoth alcohol binge is NOT a good idea? I think I might have thrown up on someone’s dog. Or maybe it was someone’s really ugly baby…I’m not quite sure. It was about 6:30 am, but I do live in the ghetto so it could have been a baby.
